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Humour, Uncategorized

5 Unconventional WhatsApp Uses

Use these ‘connect’ tips if you are paranoid,stalking or dealing with plain old ‘confusion’

 

Thought that WhatsApp was merely an app that keeps you connected with your buddies?Think Again.Here are 5 ways WhatsApp can be used (some of them will make you wish that you had never bought a cellphone and maybe wear T-shirts that say “ LAND-LINE PHONES = LESSER RADIATION = SAVE SPARROWS”).By the way,this post has been written under the assumption that all parties involved have WhatsApp installed on their phones(I am NOT A LAWYER):—

  1. Remember the last time you gave directions to someone, who after driving towards your location and reaching it, was UNABLE TO SPOT YOU (or) the landmark you referred to?Well,in future,just take a picture of yourself or the surroundings and send it to him/her via WhatsApp.(If confusion prevails,ask him to take a picture of himself/surroundings and send it to you and after meeting him glare at him ….or punch him,if you can get away with it).
  2. Think that your girlfriend/boyfriend/spouse is cheating on you?Since,it is your birthright to check your boyfriend’s (am going to stick with boyfriend for now)location every now and then..you should try this.. “Hey,send me a video of what you are doing now,I miss you and wanna see you” (meaning I don’t trust your ass! ).This will discourage your boyfriend from “extra -curricular activities”.
  3. In the rarest of rare cases,where you boyfriend is a crafty guy and already has a video to fool you about his location,ask him to mention a new “code word” in each video.
  4. Ever had to deal with supervisors at work who had major trust issues?Well,the next time you are sick (or) have met with an accident (or) need to accompany someone on a medical emergency(or)attend a funeral,useWhatsApp to message a photo of your “surroundings”(example a video of you vomiting is evidence that is hard to ignore…and forget).
  5. If you are stalking someone and want to let them know that you are stalking them;you can send a ‘surprise’ video to the stalkee (which will probably end you in jail…well,anything for 15 seconds of fame).

As you can clearly see I am not a Relationship Expert and have just written this post to make the world an interesting place.If your relationship goes sour —it is because you did not have “breathing space” and were too busy “connecting on WhatsApp”…or it is KARMA.If you are a stalker who reads posts on Medium,please don’t give me credit when you are nailed;I don’t need 15 seconds of fame.

Read my other posts :

Facebook ‘Like’ is NOT Expressive ENOUGH

3 Reasons why an Indianized ‘RunPee’ won’t work

Photo by Ariana Prestes

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About Jose Gauravselvam Kagoo

Hi There!I am Jose Gauravselvam Kagoo. I am an Indian by birth but consider myself a citizen of the world ( which enables me to shamelessly switch nationalities during cricket matches). I would love to be a member of the Iluminati and am currently researching ways to contact them. When I am not doing research on the Illuminati, I like to read extensively, watch movies and dissect everyday aspects of life. All the views expressed here are my own.

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