you're reading...
Humour

What is the USA really trying to do on Mars?

Dinosaurs,Space Tourism and terrorists are all on the agenda

 

Ever wondered why the U.S is poking around in Mars for “signs of life”?Well,nobody is going to spend a ton of cash to just look for new elements,new species or “superior beings”(aliens).The research that NASA is doing currently will have far reaching implications years from now.I have outlined my hypotheses below,dividing them into sections for easier assimilation:—


Dinosaur Revival

Do you know the origin of Petroleum? DEAD ORGANIC MATTER.Organic matter after decomposition and a few million years later(and maybe sulphur is part of the process..I’ll explain that in a bit)becomes crude oil which is then processed to get petroleum.Hold that thought now.

So,the USA is planning to bring back the dinosaurs! Yes!you read that correctly (ever read Jurassic Park? ).Here is the action plan :the dinosaurs will be given a suitable climate to flourish—-something which would not be possible to create on Earth without raising a million eyebrows.

Starting the “Dinosaur Revival” would spawn a whole new line of products→ Dinosaur leather products,Dinosaur sausages,Dinosaur eggs and Dinosaur Protein Isolate to name a few (out- of- the-world experience guaranteed).The food products would be from plant- eating dinosaurs. The dinosaurs which look exotic or cute would be up for adoption (we might have a “Dinosaur Day” on our already overcrowded calendar with people walking around in T-shirts that read “Adopt a Dinosaur,Feed Somali children”).The carnivorous dinosaurs would be bred in a separate section and made to multiply.

Dinosaurs Sports, where different species would pitted against each other (or) Dinosaurs fights with robots ,will be the vogue.

Various medical tests, that were otherwise banned on Earth, will be performed on them.After some time,a selected percentage of Adult Dinosaurs would be subject to electro-chemical decomposition to create a ton of dead organic matter(you do know that these fellas weigh in tons,don’t you?)and..after some additional processing..BOOM..Petroleum.


Space Tourism and Real Estate

Recent technological advances have made space travel a possibility now.Most of these space travel experiences involve a person experiencing ‘weightlessness’ and doing ‘somersaults’ and “floating through space”.The “Mars Experience” would allow for more personalized experiences. (You might hear kids boast “My Dad wrote my name on Mars surface…”, “My brother pissed on Mars surface..” etc.)

Also,buying land on Mars would become the next fad.(“We have a house on Mars too”).


Exiling Anti-social elements

Human Rights activists don’t like what goes on Guantanamo Bay (any sane person would not,by the way).Other countries and organizations (WikiLeaks ) have started to expose the chinks in the U.S Intelligence armor.

Enter Mars, the perfect place for exiling terrorists and criminals(the dinosaurs might need variety in their diet anyway)or suspects who need to be interrogated discreetly by the U.S Government.

Moving terrorists/criminals to a different planet would help achieve a twin purpose: 1.Isolating the problem and 2.Removing the problem.


This post was written after careful consideration of all consequences.If you find me missing suddenly,don’t think I got kidnapped..I would most probably be on Mars.

Image credit:Folkert Gorter

Advertisements

About Jose Gauravselvam Kagoo

Hi There!I am Jose Gauravselvam Kagoo. I am an Indian by birth but consider myself a citizen of the world ( which enables me to shamelessly switch nationalities during cricket matches). I would love to be a member of the Iluminati and am currently researching ways to contact them. When I am not doing research on the Illuminati, I like to read extensively, watch movies and dissect everyday aspects of life. All the views expressed here are my own.

Discussion

No comments yet.

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s

Categories

Advertisements
%d bloggers like this: